non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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