It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize