He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
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I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
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Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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