yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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