at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
