The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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