He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
