TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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