U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
