East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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