I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize