btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
