I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
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