I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
You ruined the universe
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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