Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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