There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
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