so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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