i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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