just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Be still, my beating vagina.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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