toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
