i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize