Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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