This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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