All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
