Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're like the curious george of whores
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
Randomize