cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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