We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Randomize
