we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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