I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
