wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
