Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
