Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Just cropdusted the office
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
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