Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
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We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
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If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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