yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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