I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
