i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
