There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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