evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize