what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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