i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
