I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Randomize
