I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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