Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
