Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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