i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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