let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
