I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
