My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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