Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Randomize
