I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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