Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.