Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.