I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man