once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
