I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize
