just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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