I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
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he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
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I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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