walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
home. puking in laundry basket.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
