We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
