you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
