This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
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