You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
