yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
