Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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