How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
