i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I had to cum in my sink.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
