we're blogging at a bar
My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
