We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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