**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
that may or may not have been my penis.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
