No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize