he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
