Christians are straight up FREAKS
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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